I realized that I'd promised an update on the whole Bible retreat deal. I was mulling over a different subject, and decided to opt for some variety, so I would not bore the non-existent readers of this blog.
The retreat was good. The first message was half personal testimony and half getting such a huge vision of what God wants to do in our respective lives that only the wily trickster could've pulled it off. OK, v. bad summary. It reminded me of a sermon that was preached, and I condensed my notes, and stuck on a Post-It in my Bible.
A Successful Vision
1. Starts with strong desire
2. Is cultivated into a specific direction
3. Becomes reality through reaching specific, practical goals that are neccesary to achieve (the overall vision)
4. Will not allow distractions
5. A lack of vision is dangerous
The second message at the retreat was fairly tame and harmless, but it gained an edge when you knew the speaker's background. When she sums up her marrige relationship with a reference to the story of Nabal and Abigail, you know that this woman is speaking from gritty experience.
The afternoon drained away with various short talks, lunch (if men had attended, they wouldn't have dared to feed them only salad! Egad! Bring me the fine meats and honeyed pastries!) and wound up with a message delivered by a very strange little woman.
She's one of steel-spined packages that must be over 60, and yet you know there's something beyond the wispy white hair and odd, outdated hat perched firmly onto her head. She was short, compact, and animated as all get out. Back and forth she walked, waving a skinny, wrinkled hand, and occassionally dropping her voice to a whispery, dramatic tone.
"I don't know how to explain it," she said "But when I looked at the preacher, I saw someone beside him---and I just knew it was Jesus. And I was changed!"
For two years, she mystified her non-religious family with her devotion to, um, Christianity. However, she continued dramatically, she finally caved in to their evil suggestions when she relented and said that she would take her younger brother down to the movie theater on Saturday (oh movie theater of the 1940-50s, brothel from which all evils emanate) and she did. But she knew that Jesus would not go with her into that brothel---oops, movie theater.
She did, but was dismayed to find that Jesus wasn't waiting outside the theater for her!
"I'd LOST HIM!" She said, strained, soft, raspy old woman voice as emphatic was possible "For two years..."
Marvelous, yes, she could tell a story. But something made me uneasy about her story. She "sees Jesus" "loses Jesus" and finally, "regains" Jesus, via another appearance of him on a streetcar. Yes, I told you that she was old.
What made me uneasy was that Jesus didn't come to us because of anything we did, he doesn't stay because of anything that we do, otherwise we'd never "have" him. The whole "I will never leave you or forsake you" bit? Nope, she never mentioned that. If I'd had the courage (or the time, the evening was wrapping up) I'd have challenged her on that.
What is it with weird old ladies and religion? Did Anna at the temple set some sort of precedent, or something?
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